Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Transcript: Amanda Todd's Story - Struggling, Bullying, Suicide, Self Harm, Fighting

Six weeks ago Amanda Todd posted a silent video pleading for help. One week ago she hung herself. Copies of this video and reactions to it is all over YouTube; just search. But it is interesting there isn't a text transcript to it. So here it is, normalized. She was a teen after all - I'll pardon her English and just fix it in the full transcript below.


Hello! I've decided to tell you about my never ending story.
In 7th grade I would go with friends on webcam, meet and talk to new people.
Then got called stunning, beautiful, perfect, etc...
Then wanted me to flash...
So I did...
1 year later...
I got a message on facebook from him... Don't know how he knew me.
It said...
If you don't put on a show for me I will send your boobs.
He knew my address, school, relatives, family names.
Christmas break...
Knock at my door at 4am...
It was the police... my photo was sent to everyone.
I then got really sick and got... anxiety, major depression and panic disorder.
I then moved and got into drugs + alcohol.
My anxiety got worse... couldn't go out.
A year past and the guy came back with my new list of friends and school. But made a facebook page
My boobs were his profile pic...
Cried every night, lost all my friends and respect people had for me... again...
Then nobody liked me, name calling, judged...
I can never get that photo back.
It's out there forever...
I started cutting...
I promised myself never again...
Didn't have any friends and I sat at lunch alone
so I moved schools again...
Everything was better even though I sat still alone at lunch in the library everyday.
After a month later I started talking to an old guy friend
We back and forth texted and he started to say he liked me...
Led me on. He had a girlfriend
then he said come over my girlfriend's on vacation.
So I did... huge mistake...
He hooked up with me...
I thought he liked me...
1 week later I get a text, "get out of your school..."
His girlfriend and 15 others came including himself...
The girl and 2 others just said, "look around nobody likes you" in front of my new school (50) people.
A guy then yelled "just punch her already."
So she did... She threw me to the ground and punched me several times.
Kids filmed it. I was all alone and left on the ground.
I felt like a joke in this world... I thought nobody deserve this :/
I was alone... I lied and said it was my fault and my idea.
I didn't want him getting hurt, I thought he really liked me but he just wanted the sex... Someone yelled "punch her already."
Teachers ran over but I just went and laid in a ditch and my dad found me.
I wanted to die so bad... when he brought me home I drank bleach...
It killed me inside and I thought I was gonna actually die.
Ambulance came and brought me to the hospital and flushed me.
After I got home all I saw was an facebook - "She deserved it, did you wash the mud out of your hair? - I hope she's dead."
Nobody cared. I moved away to another city to my mom's.
Another school... I didn't wanna press charges because I wanted to move on.
6 months has gone by... people are pasting pics of bleach, Clorex and ditches
tagging me... I was doing a lot better too... They said...
She should try a different bleach. I hope she dies this time and isn't so stupid.
They said I hope she sees this and kills herself...
Why do I get this? I messed up but why follow me...
I left your guys city... I'm constantly crying now...
Everyday I think why am I still here?
My anxiety is horrible now. never went out this summer.
All from my past... life's never getting better... cant go to school,
meet or be with people... constantly cutting... I'm really depressed.
I'm on antidepressants now and counselling and a month ago this summer
I overdosed... In hospital for 2 days...
I'm stuck... whats left of me now... nothing stops.
I have nobody... I need someone :(
My name is Amanda Todd.


Something is definitely wrong here; some adults in her circle definitely didn't do their job. There's five weeks between the video and final suicide; police had been involved when her topless pics first leaked; she attempted suicide no less than twice; she was on antidepressants and receiving counselling (well it could also be said that the antidepressants made her more determined to die). This could have been prevented. And look who outed the perpetrator.

What a fail. What a waste. But as a parting gift, Best Gore has what is purported to be Amanda's autopsy photo. I won't post the link here, but it's not hard to find.

2 comments:

  1. 额,找到了
    字幕抱走留念,翻墙挺麻烦的说
    真是可惜哎
    如果换取关注的代价是生命的话
    也许有点过于昂贵了的说

    ReplyDelete
  2. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

    Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

    Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

    Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

    And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

    It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

    And even begging to be with you.

    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

    Thanks again.

    ReplyDelete